In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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