escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
