Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
