I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
