i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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