everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
