Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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