his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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