The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
