Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
