he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
