why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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