she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We talked him into tasing himself.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
