remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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