After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize