Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
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being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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