Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
