Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
just come out here and I will go home with you...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
