did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
