her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He did a backflip because drugs
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
