ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Randomize
