I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
