At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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