I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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