i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize