ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
