well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
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I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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