did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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