No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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