WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
