Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
