Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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