Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
