whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
