this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize