the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
