we were pretty classy up until the second keg
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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