I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
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She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
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BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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