She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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