Cold hands, warm shart.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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