you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
