I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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