Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
