3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
