Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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