she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
