i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
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Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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