she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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