so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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