sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
