y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
