She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
