I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
