we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
