when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
