Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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