yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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